G’day from Melbourne, Pretty Awesome People!
I am writing from the State Library of Victoria in Melbourne and it is, hands down the most beautiful building I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m a sucker for architecture, although I know nuts about it. I just love looking at buildings. And bright lights… Weird, I know. Anyway…
Today’s post will be part self-improvement and part fitness related. I try to write about fitness and self-improvement and if you’ve been following me for a while, you should already know that I write on Monday and Thursday. I’ll try my best to keep that up.
And of course, if you like what I’m doing, I will sincerely appreciate it if you can spread the words by sharing it on your social media sites, via emails directly to all your friends whose in need of a pretty awesome shot and also by leaving me a comment below. :)
That aside, today I will be talking about the one skill or trait we all need to live an awesome life. It won’t be easy and I know some of you might think it’s utter bullsh*t but trust me, having this skill can change your life, your relationships with your friends, family and partner and most importantly your fitness and health.
This skill is the root of all positive changes and improvements in life and it is called: Personal responsibility.
In all honesty, I didn’t learn the art of taking responsibility over my actions until very recently when I was perhaps at the lowest point of my life. I was in a relationship for about two years and then things didn’t work out and I started blaming everything around me, everything else but myself. It wasn’t until I took responsibility over what was happening to me that things started to change. Although I’m still learning a lot every single day and I am still discovering the better version of myself, I’m happy I took the first step in making things happen — responsibility.
The first thing that goes through people’s minds when things go wrong is to blame, lament and accuse everything else but themselves. Here are some examples:
– If they’re in a job that pays peanuts, they blame it on their boss for not recognising their actual worth or the economy that is falling.
– If you’re overweight or unhealthy, you blame it on the foods you eat or the long hours you spend at work that does not leave you any more time to exercise.
– If your partner dumped you, you blame it on how he or she fails to see what an amazing person you are.
You blame it on everything else but yourself. And honestly, people do this because it’s easier to put the blame on others. And, like it or not, it does make us feel better about ourselves.
But the real question you have to ask is this — how long can you keep doing that for?
Taking responsibility, on the other hand, over our own actions is much harder. It requires us to look in the insides. It requires us to stop blaming others for our misfortunes and predicaments. And it’s much more painful to look in the mirror and accept the responsibility.
But… Personal responsibility is important
The thing is, albeit much more painful and harder, personal responsibility is important in order for us to change and move up in life. I always remind myself this — where I am in life today is the result of my options, decisions and events that has occurred to me in my life that is beyond my control. Yes, things do happen in our life that is way beyond our control. As much as we want things to happen in a certain way, we sometimes don’t get it the way we want it to be. Some people even have it harder than others.
Such is life. And sh*t happens.
But here’s one awesome fact I want you to start thinking about. Once you start learning how to take responsibility for your own actions, that is when you can sincerely see and feel the change that’s happening in your life. You don’t have to wait for others for approval. You can do it now and immediately. You’ll then start to see doors opening. You’ll start to have more opportunities knocking on your door. And you’ll start moving forward.
The one biggest thing I teach my clients before we start ANY physical exercise is how to start taking responsibility for the situation that they’re in right now. It might seem ridiculous but trust me, before you can start seeing physical changes, taking personal responsibility is the one skill that you need to master. That is why I don’t take this matter lightly.
We can change and we have every potential to change. Start it from within.
Applying it to your life
Now that I’ve covered why personal responsibility is important, here are some things you can do NOW to apply it to your life:
– If your job is paying you peanuts, instead of blaming your boss for not recognising what you’re truly worth, start taking up short courses to improve your skills. Once you’ve done that, take the leap into talking to your boss for the raise. It may be uncomfortable but it’s uncomfortable for a short period of time rather than living with it for the rest of your life.
– If your partner just dumped you or you find it hard to meet other people that you’ll actually like, instead of blaming them for not seeing the amazing person behind your pretty face, start writing down your weaknesses. Look at what is lacking about you. And don’t stop trying to meet other people. I know you’re amazing and pretty.
Applying it to your fitness and health
I’ve mentioned that the biggest lesson I try to teach my clients is how to start taking charge of their own actions. Now if you want to do the same, here’s how exactly what I do with them (and you can do it too!):
– Sit down in a quiet place and take out a pen and paper. I want you to write down every single thing, in point form, that is going wrong with your fitness and health. If you’re overweight, write it down as one point. If you’re not sleeping well, write it down as another point. You get the drift.
– For every point, I want you to then write down the reason behind it. Don’t have to worry about the reasons that is inside of you. If you’re overweight and the first reason that comes to mind is ‘because there’s just so many buffet lunch appointments I have to go to’, then write that down. If it seems like you’re blaming others, don’t worry about it for now. Here’s a chance for you to see how often you actually blame others. In other words, the real you.
– Once you’ve got that sorted, I want you to take a look at how many of those reasons are actually external reasons. Yes, including that ‘buffet lunch appointments’ reason. Once you’ve done that, think of ONE reason that lies inside of you. It’s going to be hard, especially if you’re used to blaming other things in life but this step is crucial for us to move on and achieving our goals in fitness and health.
I’ll give you an example. So you’re overweight. Instead of blaming on those buffet lunch appointments, accept the fact that you cannot resist the foods in that buffet table. As long as the reason lies in YOU, you’re on the right track. If it seems impossible, visit this point another day when you feel a little more empowered. But do not skip it.
– Lastly, I want you to accept those reasons and say it to yourself that yes, indeed, those are the reasons why you’re overweight and unhealthy. Tell yourself that. Write it down on a piece of paper and then you will start seeing results.
Now go and kill that fitness plan you’ve come up for yourself.
Putting it all together
Taking personal responsibility may sound hard if you’re not used to it but doing anything for the first time in life is hard.
Start making a change, one step at a time and develop good habits. Like everything else I’ve spoken about in this blog, don’t try to change too many things at once. Always remember to be confident about yourself and you will get there.
I know because I’ve been through it myself too. I’ve seen it right in front of my eyes amazing transformations from my clients every day. I’ve heard it from your emails about how you’ve decided to change after reading my success story.
But trust me, it’s all you.
Another good thing about taking responsibility? Whatever success that comes out of it is your responsibility too. Which means you can celebrate it just the way you want it, just like how you accepted it when things seem to head down low.
I have a challenge for you — I want you to write down in the comment section below the one thing in your life right now that you’ve been blaming others for and one step you’re taking today to start fixing it. If all else fails, remember I am just a comment and an email away. I hear from my readers everyday. Feel free to jump on the bandwagon.
I am always here for you.
Now start taking personal responsibility and make this week an awesome one!